Mothers
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    COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, you still could have written!

    MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

    NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."

    ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

    ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something......?"

    GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

    JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

    THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb.  Now turn it off and get to bed!"