Things Kids Do
For those who already have children past this age,
and who have spent way too much time in this form of experimentation, this is
hilarious. For those who have children nearing this age, or who do not have
children yet, this is a warning.
The following came from an
anonymous mother in Austin, TX (poor woman)
Things I've learned from my
children (Honest and No Kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough
water to fill a 2,000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair
spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can
ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
superman cape. It's strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of
a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long
way.
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words
"Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes
smoke, lots of it. and it smells bad.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire
with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the
movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast
day.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year-old.
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.
12. Super glue is forever when it comes to certain important
keepsakes.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like
Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good
parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor
is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin has a 5-minute response
time.
21. The washing machine's spin cycle does not make earthworms
dizzy. It will, however, make a cat dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body
weight when dizzy.