Heaven Loves Forrest Gump
The day finally arrives when Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, and he is met by St. Peter. St. Peter says "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard lots of kind things about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we've decided to administer a short entrance examination for everyone.
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here St. Peter. Was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.
St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest, but the test I have for you is only three short questions.
Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest goes away to puzzle the questions over. He returns the next day and nervously goes up to St. Peter to attempt to answer the questions. St. Peter waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to look over the questions, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the answer to your first question has to be today and tomorrow."
The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That's not what I was thinking; however, you do have a point. I didn't specify the question clearly, so I have to give you credit." How about the next one?" asks St. Peter.
"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be 12."
Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how could you come up with 12 seconds in a year?"
Forest says "Shucks, there gotta be only 12: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ."
"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I guess I see your point, although that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit again. Let's go on with the next and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?
Forrest replied, "Andy."
"OK, OK," said a frustrated St. Peter, "I understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but why do you believe Andy is God's first name?"
"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned it from the song.... "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own.
So, St. Peter opens the gate and says: "Run, Forrest, run!"